I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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