I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
