I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
