she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
this just has baby written all over it
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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