What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
im on a boat
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