Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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