I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize