its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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