no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If I die, sorry about rent.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
