My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
