I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
