you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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