Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
In other news, I just burned my penis
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
