you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
