Just cropdusted the office
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
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