I CAN MOONWALK!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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