yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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