he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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