Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I don't think brook has ever known best
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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