wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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