How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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