i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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