it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
