hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
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for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
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Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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