so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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