yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
