he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
