And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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