Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
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Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
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We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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