There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
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Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
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Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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