Who did Billy Mays play for?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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