and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
