i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
