after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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