While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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