So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
