i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
