They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
