Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
