so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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