he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize