Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Barsexuality is the new black.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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