Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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