he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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