'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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