and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
