walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
