Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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