Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Bring me that man meat
Randomize
