morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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