By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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