what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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