I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize