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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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