not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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