Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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