she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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