you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize