okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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