I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
