You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
