Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
