sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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